Indentured Schnauzitude

August 23, 2008 | My Jottings

Old and young. Calm and anxious. Intelligent and not-much-upstairs. Long-suffering and impatient. Wiry and curly. Dark and light. Tolerant and instigating. Endearing and annoying. Edith and Mildred. (Edith Elaine Bubbleloo and Mildred Virginia Sizzlelorum, but their full names will be addressed in another post).

These are our Miniature German Schnauzers. Edith is on the left and she’s six years old, and Mildred “Millie” is two.  Other than their size, breed and slaves owners, they have very little in common.

Edith is the quintessential Schnauzer: alert, affectionate, bright, and devoted to her people. Millie was born in Nebraska, so maybe that has something to do with her aberrant ways. She needs The Dog Whisperer in the worst way. She, too, has many of the Schnauzer traits, but we’re still waiting for her to grow out of her puppy stage. She pees on the floor when new people say her name, she enjoys shredding pre-driven Kleenex with her teeth, she inhales her food and then greedily lurks behind Edith as she’s slowly savoring hers, and she tries to get Edith to wrestle about every twenty minutes or so.  Edith endures it like a martyr, looking at us resigned and sighing, “See what I go through for you?”

Our dogs sit on our furniture, watch our television (a photo of that will be coming in another post), occupy the greatest space on our bed, demonstrate several times a day how efficient their digestive systems are, and pretty much run our lives. It’s called Indentured Schnauzitude. We signed up for it, and the contract reads something like this: “In exchange for the best of food, a large, comfortable human bed and several overstuffed chairs, regular vet visits, expensive minty Booda Bone chews, quarterly grooming, unlimited wildlife in the yard for loud yipping and shrieking practice, and an abundance of ear-scratching and Teletubbies viewing, Edith and Millie agree to live with the slaves Michael and Julie.”  Maybe we should have procured legal counsel before we signed on the dotted line?

We sure love these little dooginses, though.  Dogs can really make your lives happy.

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Comments

  1. Sharon says:

    Why are your doggies so badly behaved? They interrupt my phone calls all the time. Perhaps you should get cats instead — they’re quieter and don’t shred rabbits in your backyard.

  2. Sara B. says:

    Those dogs are totally out of control and I love them more than a human should. We need Caesar Milan, a miracle from God, or therapy for the whole family or we are doomed.

  3. melissa @ the inspired room says:

    Oh my they are adorably funny!!! thanks for sharing their photo! I had a schnauzer when I was growing up and he ran away. Saddest days of my life. :-( But I sure remember him fondly!!!

  4. Larry says:

    You failed to cover the fact that YOU HAVE TO CLOSE YOUR CURTAINS TO HAVE PEACE IN THE FAMILY ROOM WHEN EVERY SOMEONE, BIG OR SMALL ANIMAL OR HUMAN, FEATHER OR DUST GOES BY YOUR FAMILY ROOM WINDOWS :-( :-()

  5. Just Julie says:

    Yes I forgot to mention that Lar. We do keep our den shades closed a lot so the dogs can’t watch every moving thing outside. But our living curtains are decorative only and they don’t close. That’s why Edith perches there in the window seat. Sigh…. :)

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