Google giggles

February 6, 2010 | My Jottings

I’ve mentioned before that most people who have a blog are able to look at a part of their dashboard and see what different Google searches have been conducted that brought people to their blog. Obviously, if someone does a Google search on the words, “Just Julie B,” they’ll eventually happen upon my blog.

Once in a while I like to see what searches people have done that caused them to accidentally visit my blog. They are anonymous; there is no personal information about who the visitors are, of course. Some of the search words I can understand and they bring a smile. Others I’m perplexed by. But they’re all chuckleworthy and I thought I’d share.

Here are some verbatim phrases people recently googled that linked them to my site:

Why does my schnauzer vibrate? I don’t know why your Schnauzer vibrates, friend, but my Schnauzers vibrate because they see deer and rabbits and squirrels and raccoons and chipmunks and people outside at least a dozen times a day, and want to run outside and join the party.

Very old woman – Someone went to Google, typed in Very old woman, and was immediately referred to my blog. I think I should be offended. But I’m not. My knees tell me I’m a very old woman. How did Google know about my knees?

Underground hornet – I don’t particularly care for above-ground hornets, now I’m wondering about underground hornets. And why did Google think I would have insight on this one?

Wallpaper woman – This one is obvious. I love wallpaper and have it in four rooms in our house.

Twall dog bed – I have seen this one more than once – people know that the French word toile is pronounced “twall,” but many don’t yet know that the word toile is spelled toile. I don’t have a toile dog bed either, but I recently posted about our dogs sleeping on our bed in our toile-decorated bedroom.

What is the weakest antibiotic? – You’ll have to check with your doctor on this, but I don’t think Vaseline or Tic-tacs are very strong antibiotics. And I’m pretty sure that Snickers bars aren’t very effective either.

Dangerous to breathe in zero weather – We in northern Minnesota know what it’s like to breathe when it’s twenty degrees below zero out – it can be a little risky. But we can also attest to the fact that it’s absolutely lethal not to breathe in zero weather.

Out of this furnace character of Julie description – This sounds like something spiritually profound.

Flamenco outfits – Michael and I reluctantly got rid of our flamenco outfits last year – too bad it was too late to help this person.

Alcoholic Just Julie – Thank God, no.

Anticipating winter for parking – Not around here – “dreading winter for parking” is more like it. Huge snow drifts and hidden painted parking lines make for challenging winter parking.

Where can I ride my minibike in Southern California? – I would try the running tracks at Covina High School and Traweek Junior High School, and the quiet street near both of these called Eckerman Avenue.

The quest for the perfect body – Nobody here by that name.

Chinese tiger clothespin – What in the world? I had no idea that anyone even manufactured Chinese tiger clothespins. I wonder what makes them stand out from other clothespins?

I decided to just perm only my bangs – And many of us, too, have the photos from the 1980s to prove it. In 2020 this will probably be a trend again.

Sinus infection dirty sock smell – My heartfelt condolences to this person.

You can tell I’m scraping the bottom of the bloggy barrel today. 🙂

Please stop by next week when I will have an invitation and a potentially life-changing challenge for all of you, and I’m hoping you’ll be ready to pass it on to anyone you think might benefit.

Have a great weekend…